New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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