Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize