why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Life is so much better after having sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
