I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
