You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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