Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
