Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
