The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
