Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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