From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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