So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
