don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
