So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
