; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
