I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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