We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
