Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
