I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
