I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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