Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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