HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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