Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
