she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize