Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
