I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
