just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
