No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The air was thick with penises
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
