he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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