he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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