how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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