She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
