Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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(813): View more from Florida

why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.

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(812): View more from Indiana

He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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(954): View more from Florida

I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice

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(569): View more from

I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome

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(773): View more from Illinois

no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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(914): View more from New York

I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?

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