i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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