i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
