It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize