Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
there is glitter all over my balls
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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