THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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