Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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