just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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