i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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