You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize