dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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