Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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