I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
