She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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