Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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