Define "chronic" masturbator.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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