Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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