At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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