I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
