I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
