yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
