butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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