I think i peed on brittanys purse
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
