I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
