I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
