Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
