For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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