Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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