Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
