There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
