oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
vagina is talking i cant
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
