and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
