Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She told me I should be a condom model.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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