I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
