Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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