i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
